Hey, kids! We're back to blogging. This week you get to write a story - a true story about something you have experienced. Choose a topic. It should be interesting, but keep it small enough to write about it well. No novels needed! Now pick a point in time right before the main thing happens and start there. Use strong verbs, vivid details, and sensory words to bring your reader right into the action with you. "There I was..."
Here's my example:
There I sat, cross-legged on the hard wooden gym floor on a Friday afternoon. The older students were seated in the bleachers, but the seventh-graders were on the floor as usual for assemblies. Today’s event was actually a “pep-fest”. We were there to cheer on the boys basketball team. They had won their conference and were going to compete for regional champs that same evening.
For me and my friends, the more exciting part of the festivities was the raffle drawing. The ninth grade class was going on a spring trip. They had sold raffle tickets as a fundraiser. For weeks, the grand prize had been gleaming at us all from the locked showcase in the entryway of the school. It was a beautiful, brand-new stereo system. I mean, it had EVERYTHING - turntable, AM/FM receiver, speakers, and a cabinet to hold it. But, best of all, it had the latest in stereo technology…an eight-track player.
None of my friends had even held an eight-track cartridge, but we all wanted to. An eight-track never needed to be turned over. It would just keep playing as long as you liked. And it didn’t get scratched like records. Some people were even lucky enough to have one in their car! Not my family. My dad had recently lost his job. We were likely to be sticking with the old cars we had for some time. Tomorrow was my birthday, and I was pretty sure my gifts would all fall into the category of “things I need” such as pajamas and socks.
I would have liked to have claimed at least one hundred of the raffle tickets that filled the gigantic clear plastic bag that the PTO chairwoman was dragging to the podium. Since that wasn’t possible, I had helped sell tickets for the fundraiser. Each pack of twenty I sold had earned me one of my own. I had also managed to convince myself it was okay to buy just one with a quarter from my piggy bank. So, all together, four tiny tickets in that bag had my name on them - "Kristen Johnson."
Wait. What? I looked at my friends sitting beside me. They were screaming and pointing. “Get up there! You won!”
Dazed, I managed to get to my feet and stumble over lanky seventh grade legs to get to the front. Time seemed to be passing in slow motion. I couldn’t think. What had just happened? Was it possible? Was I the winner of the grand prize?
Ten minutes later I was on the phone in the office calling home. “Mom,” I said. “I’m going to need a ride home from school today.” I paused. “I don’t think they’ll let me take my new stereo home on the bus!”
My twelfth birthday still ranks among the best ever.
Remember...
- Be sure to save your writing in a word processing program.
- Read it over to yourself aloud, to make sure it makes sense. Check for good descriptive details.
- Make any editing changes needed (correct spelling, capitalization and end punctuation).
- Then copy and paste it into the comment section.
- Don't forget to include your first name and code, so that you get credit for your effort!
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There I was, Kathrine Bartholomew, on a trip to South Dakota.I' ve been in the car for 3 hours, and still have 1hour to go! After the 1hour that I mentioned before had gone by, we (my dad and I), had stayed at a hotel for the night or two. By now- well, why don' t I just skip to the main part. So after stopping at a restaurant that had two, three then four flys in it, we were finally got there, the greatest part of South Dakota -Mt.Rushmore!!! Yah, I saw that!! My dad would make fun of the name by calling the faces the Four Dudes! Now my dad will some times randomly, ask me: Who are the Four Dudes? And I' ll say: George W., Thomas J., Theodore R. and Abe Lincoln! And that was the time I had visited Mt. Rushmore!
Kathrine B. sw#3
There I was ... under the water in my grandma and grandpa's pool. I was looking up at the clear blue shimmering light of the water. All of a sudden my peaceful silence broke and I hered "You will never leave this pool alive." Who was it? Oh! Of course. It was my CRAZY cousins, Aaron and Ryan fighting with water tubes. I absoulutly, positevly LOVE going to my grandma and grandpa's pool.
Sarah sw2.
So there I was......... It was the last inning to catch a ball. It was the Minnesota Twins vs. The Cleveland Indians. My friend got us amazing seats. They were right over the Indians' Dug-out. After the Indians played outfield, they came to their dug-out. We would scream ''GO INDIANS!!!!!'' so that they would throw us a ball. From the beginning of the game till now, my friend and I had been beatin' out by other fans. It was the last inning to catch a ball. 2 outs..........3 outs!!! We ran don to the bottom of the stands and started chanting cheers for the Indians. At first all the players looked sad.....they will have to go into to over time innings. But I didn't care about that. I wanted a ball. I made eye contact will a player on the Indians and screamed ''GO INDIANS!!!!!!'' It was like magic. He tossed the ball just high enough so that no one else could get the ball but me. I grabbed for the ball and it sank into my hands. To have a major league baseball is really a pleasure. my friend screamed ''Sylvie, you got it??!!!!'' I could smell popcorn......that meant my dad was coming near. Sure enough, he was Coming over to congratulate me with a hunk of popcorn in his mouth. I wanted to run onto the bases on the field. It felt so good!!!! ~Sylvie J #24~
So there I was......... It was the last inning to catch a ball. It was the Minnesota Twins vs. The Cleveland Indians. My friend got us amazing seats. They were right over the Indians' Dug-out. After the Indians played outfield, they came to their dug-out. We would scream ''GO INDIANS!!!!!'' so that they would throw us a ball. From the beginning of the game till now, my friend and I had been beatin' out by other fans. It was the last inning to catch a ball. 2 outs..........3 outs!!! We ran don to the bottom of the stands and started chanting cheers for the Indians. At first all the players looked sad.....they will have to go into to over time innings. But I didn't care about that. I wanted a ball. I made eye contact will a player on the Indians and screamed ''GO INDIANS!!!!!!'' It was like magic. He tossed the ball just high enough so that no one else could get the ball but me. I grabbed for the ball and it sank into my hands. To have a major league baseball is really a pleasure. my friend screamed ''Sylvie, you got it??!!!!'' I could smell popcorn......that meant my dad was coming near. Sure enough, he was Coming over to congratulate me with a hunk of popcorn in his mouth. I wanted to run onto the bases on the field. It felt so good!!!! ~Sylvie J #24~
I don’t really remember it but, I’ve seen the pictures and heard about the first time my skates hit the ice. My hockey career started on a miniature rink, 12’ by 12’ with a zamboni not much bigger than an ATV. I was cheered on by my two best friends Paul and Laura. The first lesson was with two other boys the rest of the lessons were private. On the last lesson there was a test… to skate across the rink. My mom was holding her breath (she was very dramatic about it). That day I passed the test (I was only three). After those lessons, hockey became my passion. Thomas j21
There I was walking in the hallways with my mom right beside me. I had escaped the classroom!
My mom had picked me up. I was going to pick an instrument for band in my mind I had the jazzy saxophone or the cool clarinet I didn’t know which instrument to choose but all I new is I was exited!
I arrived in classroom 350 and I and my mom gaited over to Mr. Mulligan. Mr. Mulligan asked me which instruments I wanted and I said “I want either the Clarinet or the Saxophone! He let me try the saxophone first. I had imagined it would be kind like a medium size but it was smaller than that. I blew. No sound. I tried again. Nope. He gave me some advice I blew and a humongous sound came out. Then I tried the Clarinet. The first time I did it I used a mouthpiece and a sound came out it was cool sound I liked it a lot. Then right when Mr. Mulligan heard it he put the mouthpiece on the actual Clarinet. The Clarinet was smaller than I thought it would be. But not as small as I imagined how the Saxophone would be! He said that he would press the notes. The first time I tried the Clarinet a sound came right out! Mr. Mulligan pressed the notes and beautiful sounds came out just like on the piano. It had certain notes and when you put your fingers on either a hole or a key it had different sounds when you went to the next note! Mr. Mulligan suggested that I tried the popular trumpet so I did. There was a teeny tiny hole that you had to blow in and every single million time I tried. No sound came out!!! In my mind I already knew what instrument I liked best… the CLARINET! Mr. Mulligan finally asked “Okay Shannon, which instruments do you like best? I said with no thinking at all “I think I like the Clarinet best.” So for next year in 5th grade I will be playing that cool Clarinet! I felt that I made a good choice.
Shannonsw21
My word of the week is gait. It means walk or run (we walked over to Mr. Mulligan.
So there I was…I saw the pitch come speeding down from the mound as though the ball had a pilot and an engine. I knew that if I did not SMACK this thing as hard as I could we would lose. I looked at the pitch again and I could see the blur of the words on the ball. SMACK!!! I hit it, but I tried to kill it. I looked up and saw the ball and said “shoot!” But it seemed like it was a spell for him to miss the ball. The player dropped the ball and the winning run scored.
KEVIN SW6
There were two minutes left in the game. The score was tied. I was open and running down the court. My teammate saw me! WHOOSH! He hurled the ball towards me and I caught it as I was running. There was nobody between me and the basket. I was about to make a lay-up! From out of nowhere, SMACK! One of the other team's players came out of nowhere and hacked me across both arms. Well, it wouldn't be a basket, but at least I'd get a chance to make two free throws. WHAT THE&^%$#@! The ref motioned me towards the sideline underneath the basket. He had called the ball out of bounds on the other team. My team was supposed to take the ball out of bounds. So instead of a basket or the free throws, not a point. We lost the game by one. Gerrit.G SW#11
The giant Tarzan rope swing
There I was, the long waiting line was over. I stood on the platform like a statue. Finally I gained the courage to jump. Then I went flying through the air in to the forest. All I saw was green, red, blue and other different colors of the rainbow. Some shapes formed plants and animals and every thing else was blurry. I smelled flowers as I swung through the beautiful scenery. Even though I was having a blast, I still was scared of plummeting 10,000 feet down so I clung to my harness and the rope so I wouldn’t fall. I loved the breeze that blew my hair around. Suddenly I got yanked back toward the platform. I felt like I was going to throw up when the rope and harness drug me backwards. Then I was pulled forward all over again. After my second swing I started to relax so I dropped my harness and grabbed the rope with both hands. After my third swing, I was caught with another rope held by two men and the two unclipped my harness. I stepped down and waited for my friend Annie from London. I said with a huge smile on my face “let’s do it again”. This time I did not hesitate to jump or hold on to my harness and I didn’t feel scared at all!
Katiej4
So there I was, walking across the little French street, sopping wet. I had been running in the waves on a small windy Mediterranean beech. There were no people there, but my grandpa had been filming my! My cloths where dripping with salty Mediterranean sea water. When I walked across the street, all the French people stopped and turned to stear at my. My dad rushed me up to the hotel right across the street. I didn’t want to go back to the beech, because I felt to embarrassed. But I learned a lesson. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER run to deep in the waves!! By; Cristiana SW#12
A Day at Wise Guys
It was going to be a good afternoon. It started out with getting Jolly Ranchers for being good in school. I went down to snack and I got my favorite snack at Wise Guys--bagels with cream cheese. Then, I asked Todd if the gym was open. It was and I asked my friends if they wanted to play hockey in the gym and they said OK. So we went and while we were warming up for the game I got whacked by a hockey stick in the chin by one of my friends. When we were playing the game and towards the end I got whacked in the shin and it made a huge bruise the size of a hockey puck. Then we went back to the Zone and my mom was there.
Garrett W SW#23
Dear Ms. Powell,
There I was, standing right in front of a stand in the music room, with a sheet of paper on the stand. The music on the sheet looked so hard. I was just about to take my recorder test. My heart was pounding fast. It was pounding for 2 reasons. The first reason was that I was rushing from my classroom to the music room. The second reason was that I was nervous. I knew I wouldn’t pass the test. I was going to do a duet with my friend. One thing I know about my friend is she is better at playing the recorder than me. But I couldn’t let her down. The music teacher came and asked us if we were ready. My friend said yes. I took a deep, deep, deep breath and started playing the song. I was nervous when I was playing. Oops… I messed up. I knew for sure I wasn’t going to pass. What if my friend gets mad at me? I just continued. I’m almost done with the test. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I think it’s a bad thing because my music teacher is going to say I didn’t pass. I played the last note and crossed my fingers…I passed! I couldn’t believe it. My music teacher congratulated my friend and me. I was proud. I was happy. And I was glad it was over. So I just told myself that next time for my recorder test, I shouldn’t think so negatively. I said in my head, “Don’t think you won’t pass. You know you can do it and do your best.”
Maria J4#5
There I was...treading in twenty feet of water when all of the sudden a 300 pound dolphin swam up along side of me. I grabbed on to her dorsal fin and whoosh, took off gliding through the water. Her name was Kona, like my dog. Her fin felt rubbery but it was pretty easy to hold on to. We went pretty fast and it felt really good having the water rush by me. When we were done swimming, the trainer asked me if I wanted Kona to give me a kiss. Sure, why not. I was a little nervous about having a huge dolphin come right up to my face. When she did, she came and stuck her bottle nose right into my cheek! It felt kind of like being poked with a baseball bat. It didn't hurt though. I couldn't help but laugh. Swimming with the dolphins was so much fun. I won't ever forget it!
Drew #17
There I was...I and my dad and brother were waching TV and all of a sudden we herd a weird noise, it was in my fireplace. We opened it and there was a baby duckling! It was so cute! We went outside to the side of our house and I looked and saw something. It looked like little bombs falling off the roof. It was more ducklings from our fireplace. At the end we saw the mama duck and all the baby ducks right behind her and off they went down to the creek. I was so cute! I can't wait til next year...
patrick sw4 #Vll
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